The happy little bubble I’ve been living in, where everything works out just as I had hoped and planned, has popped.
Last week, I made the decision to return to work. We’re talking career/job work here…not the son-up to son-down work that is currently filling my days. I met with my principal on Monday and have accepted a position teaching morning kindergarten five days a week next year. It’s hard to explain all of the contemplating, concerns, and choices that Shane and I have had just to get to a simple, “Yes, I’ll take the job.” But then again, no decision is simple when it involves your child.
My original plan was to stay home with Eli (and siblings-hopefully) until they were school age. Then my plan was to go back part time, if it still fit our lifestyle and my career goals. However, when I left last year, I had a huge monkey on my back that I’ve been trying to avoid. That monkey is a little matter of my unfinished certification. It’s a long story, but basically I have to do one more year of teaching along with a college program to earn my Professional Certification. If I don’t complete it next year, my current certificate will expire and I wouldn't be able to take any teaching position other than substituting. Neither Shane nor I wanted to see all my hard work (and money for college!) go down the tube. So, in a nutshell, that's drove us to deciding it was worth it for me to head back to work.
Now that I’ve made the decision, I’m doing my darnedest to stay positive and look forward. Like Shane keeps reminding me, “You can do anything for 9 months.” The instant that I start thinking about how much I will be missing, or how I won’t be there for Eli, it becomes a miserable heartache. Luckily, I don’t have to worry about him while I’m away. Our good friend,Amy A., is going to be taking care of Eli part of the week. I’m still making plans for the other part of the week, but I feel good knowing I still have four months to find someone who I trust to take care of my baby. Another big plus is that it’s a part time position, so I should only be gone until noon every day.
So, that’s my huge news. Any support you have to offer would be greatly appreciated! I’ll keep you posted as the school year approaches and as I get going with ProCert. Wish me luck!
7 comments:
Oh, Deanna, I feel for you right now, all the mixed emotions involved! One good thing is that the kindergarteners will keep you very busy and the mornings will go fast! You won't have a lot of time to sit and dwell on it. I think that you made a good decision.
These decisions are so very hard to make...I feel for you. I really think you made a good decision though...your certification is very important, and Eli will be a year old...much better than brand new! He will have had a whole year of you all to himself. While I know you will feel you are missing a lot the 9 months will go really fast...I know because Lach is almost in first grade...it just flew! You will miss him, but it sounds like he will be in VERY good hands!
I feel for you, too, Deanna. I can enter in to your situation with certification! It's tough once you let it expire. It really does sound like it will be the best possible situation for going back to work: half days, someone you're close to will be watching Eli, you will have had most of his first year at home with him, and you'll still keep your options open for working down the road.
good luck in the future i am sure it will work out fine! you know who is not "qualified" to babysit, i cant even get a complete ferry lap without some crying!
I guess this is one decision I didn't have to make because I knew I would have to work to take care of my babies. I have to say I wish it were different sometimes, but knowing my kids are with someone I completely trust makes it so much easier! I don't know you well, but I think it's safe to say the kindergarten kids will be fortunate to have you for their teacher!
Hey Deanna - I can say that I can relate to some of your feelings, but like comments below, that's a smart decision you're making. All I ever dreamed of was to be a mother, so when I had to return to work part-time after Ashlyn was born (Shawn got layed-off, etc.- all that crazy commotion at one time) I felt completely devistated at first. There was no other choice at the time and looking back, I often forget that I even went back to work! You'll be so thankful later on that you didn't miss the opportunity to complete your certification after all that work! The nine months will be a blur later on- that's so awesome that it's only 1/2 days, so it cuts out on so much away time! Eli's lucky to have you for a mommy! Take care...
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